Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Yesterday morning we made a trek down to ye olde courthouse for our finalization hearing. We got up early and decided to dress Gus up for the big day.When we got off the elevator and turned the corner, there were a bunch of other families with babies waiting for their adoptions to be finalized. Apparently they do all the adoption finalizations on Mondays. I guess it's a nice way for the family court to start their week. We waited outside with the rest of them and one at a time, each family got called in for their time with the judge. The nice thing was the waiting families would applaud the people as they left the courtroom. After about a 20 minute wait, we got called in. I was actually a little bit nervous for some reason. Maybe they found a loophole in our file that would prevent the adoption from happening. We swore that everything was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but (the judge seemed to be preoccupied).I have to admit, when the judge spoke her solemn words about parental responsibility, I got choked up. I couldn't believe Gus was finally going to be ours for real. It was all a bit overwhelming. The crazy thing is, the whole procedure lasted less than 5 minutes. So now we are truly a family. On paper as well as in spirit. Seems like the legal aspect of it wouldn't make a huge difference, but I do feel different knowing for sure that Gus is irrevocably our son. It really was a happy day. Maybe the happiest day of my life.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Dating Game

A date has finally been set! September 28 will be the second happiest day of our lives (the first being the day I got to see District 9... Wilkus!!) For something that was only supposed to take 6 months, we've had to wait 10 months to get a court date. It's only a small complaint since everything else has gone pretty smoothly. We have so much to be thankful for, I can't even begin to describe it all. So Here's to Gus' birth parents. Here's to Adoption Connection. Here's to being able to make a family despite life's challenges. woohoo!!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Almost There

We finally got notice from Adoption Connection that they are going to request a court date for our finalization! It was taking a long time to hear any news so we emailed them to check on the status of our adoption. Luckily we did because they were waiting for the hospital to fax them Gus' medical report. We had some papers that the hospital gave us when we took Gus home so we sent them over to Adoption Connection. Turns out those papers were enough for them to finish writing their report. Now we're just waiting for our court date to bring this puppy home!I really can't wait for the adoption to be finalized. The truth is, at this point it's not necessary to have a piece of paper telling us he belongs to us but it would be nice to not have to think about it anymore. After 8 1/2 months, we are fully capable parents...

Friday, July 24, 2009

Blair, Jo, Natalie, and Two-Teeth

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. The truth is, nothing new has happened on the adoption side of things. We are still waiting to hear when our finalization date is going to be. Maybe everything is being held up in the plumbing of bureaucracy.Just because we are waiting around for our court date doesn't mean we aren't busy. Gus is getting bigger every day and starting to become mobile. He's also doing quite a bit of baby talk. Hopefully we are finalized before he learns to say Dada otherwise he'll have to learn how to say it with air-quotation marks.Here are a few recent pics:

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Smiley Cyrus

We are done with the paperwork! We had to do a narrative report about our experience with Gus so far and fill out a bunch of adoption forms that the court requires. The narrative report was pretty easy. It is basically just a relaying of Gus' vital statistics with a little personal perspective thrown in here and there. They ask you to list his milestones and when he hit them. Doing it made me nostalgic about how much has happened in the last 6 months. It's kind of hard to believe he is now two and a half times his birth weight!In the last couple weeks alone, he's been going through several major changes. We've begun feeding him solid foods, he can now hold a bottle on his own, he got his first tooth, and we are taking him to a weekly swim class... What's next, marriage?!The court needs several papers in order to complete the adoption. They all sound sort of similar but they each serve a slightly different legal purpose. They are as follows:

-Adoption Request (to ask for a hearing and case number)
-Contact after Adoption Agreement (establishes amount of contact between birth parents and adopting parents)
-Adoption Agreement (making sure we REALLY want to do this)
-Adoption Expenses (all about the Benjamins)
-Adoption Order (the court says it's ok)
-Indian Child Inquiry (any Navajo in there?)

David and I went to the courthouse on Monday to hand in the forms. They stamped the papers and gave us a case number. For some reason, every time the clerk stamped a form, I heard Emeril Lagasse say, "BAM!" Now we just have to wait for our adoption agency to finish their paperwork so everything can be combined and we can set a date to finalize the whole thing once and for all!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Can Almost See It

Last week was interesting. We had the final visit with our social worker which ironically doesn't mean the end of our adoption journey. It actually just means we can begin the paperwork to finally get a judge to say we are fit to be Gus' parents.Miraculously, he is thriving under our care and as each day goes by, we feel the parental bonds deepening. At this point I can't imagine anything preventing us from becoming his legal parents but you never know I guess. They have gone over our life with a fine-toothed comb and come up wanting. At first, I felt like we had to prove to the agency we can be capable parents, but the truth is, the only person we have to do right by is Gus.So now we are busy filling out more paperwork. It is seemingly endless but every blank I fill in, I know I'm getting closer to the finish line. I'll be so glad when it's all over and we can shift 100% of our focus to other stressful things like pre-school, potty training, language acquisition, gross/fine motor skills, and manners.In related family news, California decided to uphold the majority ruling of prop 8 which means marriage is only allowed between a man and a woman. Luckily for us, the CA Supreme Court is letting the 18,000 same-sex couples who got married last year have their marriages remain valid and recognized. But don't think the fight is over. I hear we are going back to the ballot box in 2010 to try again. If that doesn't work, we'll go back in 2012. The point is, eventually gay marriage will happen so the nay sayers should just give up. Meanwhile, as a married gay person, I am very busy ruining the fabric of society by watching the new season of So You Think You Can Dance. What's up with Mary Murphy?!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I don't know what this is:

Anyway, life is flying by fast. While waiting for our final social worker visit, the family is settling into a pretty reliable routine. Gus is sleeping on average 10 hours a night and it's getting easier for us to predict his moods.We've started him on solids and he's taking to it pretty well! It's so funny that every time we offer a spoonful he's shocked but then takes it. I also went to a play date with some other gay dads. It was nice to see dads interacting with their kids. Usually there is a sea of moms (or sea momsters) at any given playground so we got to show how the other half does it. The funny thing was, we didn't talk about being gay at all. We just exchanged tips on parenting!... LIFE!