The Dating Game

A date has finally been set! September 28 will be the second happiest day of our lives (the first being the day I got to see District 9... Wilkus!!) For something that was only supposed to take 6 months, we've had to wait 10 months to get a court date. It's only a small complaint since everything else has gone pretty smoothly. We have so much to be thankful for, I can't even begin to describe it all. So Here's to Gus' birth parents. Here's to Adoption Connection. Here's to being able to make a family despite life's challenges. woohoo!!!

Almost There

We finally got notice from Adoption Connection that they are going to request a court date for our finalization! It was taking a long time to hear any news so we emailed them to check on the status of our adoption. Luckily we did because they were waiting for the hospital to fax them Gus' medical report. We had some papers that the hospital gave us when we took Gus home so we sent them over to Adoption Connection. Turns out those papers were enough for them to finish writing their report. Now we're just waiting for our court date to bring this puppy home!I really can't wait for the adoption to be finalized. The truth is, at this point it's not necessary to have a piece of paper telling us he belongs to us but it would be nice to not have to think about it anymore. After 8 1/2 months, we are fully capable parents...

Blair, Jo, Natalie, and Two-Teeth

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. The truth is, nothing new has happened on the adoption side of things. We are still waiting to hear when our finalization date is going to be. Maybe everything is being held up in the plumbing of bureaucracy.Just because we are waiting around for our court date doesn't mean we aren't busy. Gus is getting bigger every day and starting to become mobile. He's also doing quite a bit of baby talk. Hopefully we are finalized before he learns to say Dada otherwise he'll have to learn how to say it with air-quotation marks.Here are a few recent pics:

Smiley Cyrus

We are done with the paperwork! We had to do a narrative report about our experience with Gus so far and fill out a bunch of adoption forms that the court requires. The narrative report was pretty easy. It is basically just a relaying of Gus' vital statistics with a little personal perspective thrown in here and there. They ask you to list his milestones and when he hit them. Doing it made me nostalgic about how much has happened in the last 6 months. It's kind of hard to believe he is now two and a half times his birth weight!In the last couple weeks alone, he's been going through several major changes. We've begun feeding him solid foods, he can now hold a bottle on his own, he got his first tooth, and we are taking him to a weekly swim class... What's next, marriage?!The court needs several papers in order to complete the adoption. They all sound sort of similar but they each serve a slightly different legal purpose. They are as follows:

-Adoption Request (to ask for a hearing and case number)
-Contact after Adoption Agreement (establishes amount of contact between birth parents and adopting parents)
-Adoption Agreement (making sure we REALLY want to do this)
-Adoption Expenses (all about the Benjamins)
-Adoption Order (the court says it's ok)
-Indian Child Inquiry (any Navajo in there?)

David and I went to the courthouse on Monday to hand in the forms. They stamped the papers and gave us a case number. For some reason, every time the clerk stamped a form, I heard Emeril Lagasse say, "BAM!" Now we just have to wait for our adoption agency to finish their paperwork so everything can be combined and we can set a date to finalize the whole thing once and for all!

Can Almost See It

Last week was interesting. We had the final visit with our social worker which ironically doesn't mean the end of our adoption journey. It actually just means we can begin the paperwork to finally get a judge to say we are fit to be Gus' parents.Miraculously, he is thriving under our care and as each day goes by, we feel the parental bonds deepening. At this point I can't imagine anything preventing us from becoming his legal parents but you never know I guess. They have gone over our life with a fine-toothed comb and come up wanting. At first, I felt like we had to prove to the agency we can be capable parents, but the truth is, the only person we have to do right by is Gus.So now we are busy filling out more paperwork. It is seemingly endless but every blank I fill in, I know I'm getting closer to the finish line. I'll be so glad when it's all over and we can shift 100% of our focus to other stressful things like pre-school, potty training, language acquisition, gross/fine motor skills, and manners.In related family news, California decided to uphold the majority ruling of prop 8 which means marriage is only allowed between a man and a woman. Luckily for us, the CA Supreme Court is letting the 18,000 same-sex couples who got married last year have their marriages remain valid and recognized. But don't think the fight is over. I hear we are going back to the ballot box in 2010 to try again. If that doesn't work, we'll go back in 2012. The point is, eventually gay marriage will happen so the nay sayers should just give up. Meanwhile, as a married gay person, I am very busy ruining the fabric of society by watching the new season of So You Think You Can Dance. What's up with Mary Murphy?!
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Spazmodeus

I don't know what this is:



Anyway, life is flying by fast. While waiting for our final social worker visit, the family is settling into a pretty reliable routine. Gus is sleeping on average 10 hours a night and it's getting easier for us to predict his moods.We've started him on solids and he's taking to it pretty well! It's so funny that every time we offer a spoonful he's shocked but then takes it. I also went to a play date with some other gay dads. It was nice to see dads interacting with their kids. Usually there is a sea of moms (or sea momsters) at any given playground so we got to show how the other half does it. The funny thing was, we didn't talk about being gay at all. We just exchanged tips on parenting!... LIFE!

Suffocatie Holmes

A few weeks ago, Amy asked us if we would be willing to speak at Adoption Connection for their 'Preparing for Adoption' class. This is the same class we took over a year ago. I even have an entry about it here. We were happy to do it because I remember feeling so appreciative of the parents who came to speak back then. Getting to hear real stories of people who have gone through it was encouraging and eye-opening.Last night was the night of the class. They had 2 other sets of speakers with their new babies. One of the other couples happened to be in our Preparing for Adoption class from 2008! The classroom was filled with people at the earliest stages of adoption. Their gazes were fixed upon our babies or, Pots Of Gold, if you will. I think a lot of prospective parents (us included) are fearful of the situations surrounding the birth parents but seeing a thriving happy baby makes you forget about all that. Usually the journey is the destination but in the case of adoption, the destination is the destination.

After relaying our story, we answered a few questions and went home. From their perspective, I'm sure it's hard to imagine the adoption process working but we are here to say it really does and we have a chubby baby to show for it. A baby I might add, that can now flip over onto his stomach but can't quite turn back. So now, when he's asleep, we're awake.