Saturday, January 26, 2008

Roller Coaster

*Sweet Baby Cheeses, I'm sorry if anyone clicked on the "horrible parents" link before 3pm today. I uploaded a picture the way I normally do it, but I think the link was corrupted and/or hijacked. Anyway, it's fixed now. Back to scheduled programing.*

We are in the midst of a 5 week "Preparing For Domestic Adoption" workshop. There have been two sessions so far and boy is it ever a roller coaster. I went from excitement talking with other adopters, to insecurity thinking we are going to be horrible parents, to questioning how much I even want to do this, back all the way around to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and thinking it is all going to be worth it.The first session we just got to know everyone and talked about what brought people to choose adoption to start their family. It made for a very serious time since most of the people are there because of some kind of infertility or loss. Not all of us though... The interesting thing about our group is that out of 9 couples, 4 of them are gay men. Looks like we chose the right agency!All of us are at different stages of the process so it was great to hear stories about how people's experiences have been while also being glad that some parts are already over for us. Most everyone had an easy time with the homestudy and are struggling writing their "Dear Birthmother Letter". I wouldn't say we're struggling with our letter but it certainly does take a lot of editing. The second session we were offered a rare treat to meet two couples who have gone through the rigors of the adoption process and came out the other side with a gleaming brand spanking new baby to show for it. They had extremely different stories in how they got their babies. One had been waiting for a year and a half and then got a call for an Immediate Hospital Placement. That means a birthmother decides to place the baby for adoption at the very last minute and has no chance to meet the adoptive parents during her pregnancy.

The other couple had a pretty normal domestic adoption experience. They waited 6 months, got matched, spent 2 months getting to know the birth mother, and then took the baby home. The only thing about their case that was out of the ordinary was that they are 2 men. And maybe that's not so out of the ordinary anymore...

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