Friday, April 4, 2008
Say it, Don't Downplay It
Last night we went to our final workshop! I'm glad we went to all of them but I'm equally glad that was the last one. I mean, come on, how much prep work do we really have to do?! Maybe it's just overcompensating on our part since we're going to have an alternative family. In the end, it will all be worth it when the little one looks up at us and says, "Hey dads, you guys always say the right thing to help me develop a positive self-esteem and you are always displaying non-shame based behavior for me to model. There is no challenge I cannot overcome. Thank you."The workshop dealt with issues of raising a child in an LGBT home. I think there might be a "Q" in there somewhere now but I'm not sure. I don't know how many more minority groups we can belong to so I'm just adding this one to the pile. The same techniques apply to having same gender parents as to having a transracial family. It's all about communication baby. I mean, communication WITH the baby.We are supposed to be sensitive to how our child feels when he or she comes home asking why he or she doesn't have a mom. The kid might feel sad about that fact so we are supposed to have something prepared to say about it. And "eew, women are gross" won't cut it.I think the most important thing will be to make sure our kid feels comfortable coming to us with whatever he or she wants to talk about. It may not be the most natural thing for us to always be open in talking about our feelings, but for the sake of our child, it will be well worth the effort.