Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Observe And Report

Just got back from a wedding in lovely Mendocino, CA. I got to reconnect with a couple of my good high school friends. Much has changed in our lives but basically we are the same people we were then and still laugh hysterically at the drop of hat.The wedding was notable because it was our first overnight outing with Gus. We packed like we were never coming back. In the future, I hope to streamline the process a bit because really, does Gus need 5 changes of clothes for a 36 hour trip? Overall, the experience was fine and he only had a small fit near bedtime. Maybe he's still too young to be tied to a schedule.Adoption news: We got a package in the mail from Adoption Connection telling us the birthparent rights have officially been terminated and filed. Whee! In July, we should be done with the post-placement period. A couple months after that, we will have our court date in front of a judge for the finalization hearing. This process is long and labored, but when I'm playing with Gus it doesn't really matter how much work we have to do. It will all be worth it in the end (unless he hates us).On an unrelated note, as the primary caretaker of our baby, I've noticed I'm getting a fair amount of unsolicited advice from strangers. Meaning, I will be standing in line at a store and an older lady will say, "your baby looks cold, do you have long-sleeved clothes for him?" Or, "When was the last time you fed him? He's hungry." Or, "Unlock the bathroom door! You need my help! I'm calling social services!" (one of these is a joke) My guess is this happens because I'm a man. Do women get this kind of treatment? I may not be Super Nanny, but I think I know what Gus needs by now. Oh well, all part of the experience I guess.

6 comments:

Kristen said...

I totally get the sometimes annoying stranger advice too! One time while crossing the street this lady grabbed Oliver's teething toy because she thought it was a choking hazard. He sure let her have it! Hopefully she learned her lesson and will stop trying to steal baby toys! What is it with some people! Congratulations on your adoption news, That's way cool!

akira said...

oh man!! he's so cute, haven't seen pix of him in a while! i can't believe he's sitting up like that! the advice thing is not just you, just humor people by saying,"thank you" to their advice, most likely they're miss having their own little kid and maybe even wish they'd had done a better job themselves with their baby. i've heard more than once people saying, "you'll drop your kid, everybody does it".. obviously they dropped their kid and are still insecure about it... anyways, looks like you're doing a great job!!!! congrats on adoption progression!

Steven said...

We get unsolicited advice all the time. It's usually from folks who don't think men know what they are doing or it's from African Americans commenting on white people having an African American child.

One woman on a subway in NY commented that "there must be a legitimate reason for two white men to be with an African American child." Then had the nerve to say, "The World is Watching You". Like we don't know that. It's been going on for years and he's almost 6 now. I'm ready to start telling people to mind their own effing business.

Bulgy the Whale said...

Thanks for the reassurance. It's crazy out there! I know people are trying to be helpful so I remain polite.

Steven: I'm getting similar reactions when I take Gus out except it's from Asian women. Mostly it's a look of, "How is this possible?!"

tasha said...

haha i think it's just meddling old ladies who think their method of parenting is better than everyone else's. (why is it always ladies trying to give advice?)

Salssaa_girl said...

Put shoes on that baby! She's too cold! She's too hot! You dropped the blanket, pacifier, rattle, teddy bear, shoe, bib, or other baby item. Don't let her stand up in the grocery cart, stroller, car seat, buggy like that! Shall I go on?????