Equality For All (except gays)

Despite our best efforts, Proposition 8 looks like it will pass by a narrow 52-48 margin. That means the citizens of California voted to insert language into the constitution taking away rights from a group of people. Usually it's the other way around and we GRANT rights to disenfranchised people.I'm incredibly saddened by this turn of events and yet have hope for a couple of reasons. One reason is Barack Obama won the presidential election and I believe he will be an ally for us. I mean, he even included gays in his winning speech last night! I don't think Bush ever did that. Another reason is young people are not nearly as threatened by homosexuality as older folks so when the older generation dies off, we'll be left with a loving utopia where everyone is treated with dignity and respect...The final reason is this whole gay marriage thing has really filled me with a sense of community and justice. Last weekend we stood outside in the pouring rain holding signs for "No on 8". It felt good to be a part of something at a grassroots level. It felt even better when people driving by in cars honked in our favor or told us they were definitely going to vote No. Even though we lost, the fact that we came so close this time gives me hope for the future.

Vote NO on prop 8!

Hi everyone. This is my PSA on Prop 8, the proposition that will amend California's constitution to eliminate marriage rights for same-sex people. Ready? here goes:

If you are going to vote YES on Prop 8, you should just kill yourself.

Let me elaborate. Seems like the only people who want Prop 8 to pass are either a.) religious, or b.) so homophobic they invent some irrational morality to defend their prejudices. If you are the former, killing yourself will get you to God faster which is the ultimate goal right? Don't think of it as suicide, think of it as getting in the Fastrak Lane for the Pearly Gates. If you are the latter, you should just die because what you're trying to do is insert bigotry, hate and discrimination into the state's constitution and that is a deplorable thing to do. I think in your heart of hearts you know that too. If you vote Yes, will you be able to look someone in the eye and say "I voted to ADD discrimination to the Constitution"?

We shouldn't be able to eliminate rights for anyone just because they are different than us. Haven't we learned this already? David and I just want to live our lives as decent human beings where we realize that difference, though sometimes scary, is not always bad. In fact, encountering difference is just an opportunity to learn more about this bizarre world we live in. Kind of like going to an Asian restaurant. So, with that in mind, I take back my original statement. I don't want anyone to kill themselves because it would be wrong to wish that (and I think we all know the difference between right and wrong). I just want people to vote NO on prop 8 where it won't affect straight people's lives at all but could totally change ours.

We have got to get past this.

And Just Like That...

RED ALERT!

Yesterday we got a call from Adoption Connection that there might be a baby for us! It is already born and they wanted to know if it would be ok to give the birth mother our profile. If she chose us, we would have to leave work right away and drive a couple hours to pick the baby up.We had just moved the day before and in fact weren't even living in our new home yet. We were in purgatory sleeping on blankets on the floor of our old house because the new house didn't even have a bed set up yet. All our clothes were in boxes including all the baby stuff we have accumulated and we didn't even have a working phone line, not to mention any internet... So we said, "Sure we'll take it!"but alas, she chose someone else. Phew and Sad Face at the same time. My poor stomach.

What We Have Learned Thus Far

Boy are we busy bees. David and I are in the middle of selling our place while buying a new one at the same time. It's been a whirlwind of storing, staging, and showing. There's also been a Hurricane Katrina's worth of faxing, emailing, and phone calls. Not to mention a healthy 1906 Earthquake's portion of inspections, meetings, and paperwork.Soon the transition will be over and it will be back to business as usual... Meaning sitting around waiting to be matched. Despite having a packed schedule, we somehow managed to go to 2 workshops over the last month.

The first one was about the legal issues that may arise for married same-sex couples. It was hosted by two powerful attorneys who specialize in family law and estate planning. Their names are Deb Kinney and Deborah Wald, or as I like to refer to them, The Debsbians. They spoke passionately and eloquently not just about the legal ramifications of same-sex marriage, but the cultural ones as well. We are standing at the precipice of yet another important civil rights issue and it is heartening to know we are trying to move away from discrimination instead of towards it. "NO" on prop 8! Don't worry, allowing gay people to marry won't cause this to happen:The second workshop we went to was called Negotiating Birth Family Relationships. Since we are planning on doing an open adoption, the intent is for the birth family to be involved in the child's life forever so it's important to nurture a good relationship with them. The workshop mainly focused on fears and expectations. The speaker also gave us different scenarios that may arise and asked how we would handle them. Also, there were bagels.

Like a Throat With a Heart In It

We did it! Yesterday David and I pledged ourselves to each other in front of a Justice of the Peace at City Hall in San Francisco County, CA. It was important for us to get married before November when there will be a vote to determine once and for all if our relationship is valid in the eyes of the law. Apologies to family and friends for whom we didn't have time to organize a party. Fear not, we intend on having a reception early next year to properly celebrate. Here's how it went down... (it helps if you imagine it as a silent movie with piano music playing in the background)
Thanks to Patty and Ross for taking time off work to witness and take photos. We love you!

More photos here.

Home Iz Where The Catz Are

David and I are in the process of looking for a new home! We love where we live right now but it is a TIC and not the ideal situation for us, especially with a baby on the way. We're going to try our best to stay in San Francisco but with the prices the way they are, we'll be lucky if we can afford a Single Family Shack. which one should we get?

So You Think You Can Be America's Best Dance Crew

I realize this blog is getting further and further away from being about our adoption but I just have to say:

Katee for SYTYCD
watch her with Joshua

... and Fanny Pack for ANDC
watch them perform to Missy Elliott

those are my predictions... Don't hate. Participate.