Babies Suck

At least ours does. If it's not the pacifier, he's sucking on his fingers, toys, or blankets. WTF? Too bad they don't have a "change your own diaper" reflex. I kid. One of the surprising joys of fatherhood is getting to change a messy diaper because that means he won't be constipated for a while which means Happy Baby.Yesterday we had our second social worker visit. This time it went smoothly and Gus was a model baby. We fed him while Amy was at our house to cut down on the potential crying time. Thankfullly he was very happy and calm during the whole visit. Whew!Amy asked us the usual questions about his height, weight, eating habits, dailiy activities, etc. She commented on how Gus is about to enter a really fun phase soon. He is 3 months old and starting to grab at things, smile voluntarily, and stare at us as we walk across his line of sight. What else could there possibly be?!! Whatever it is, we are as prepared as we can be and are just holding on for the ride. He's already changed so much in 3 months. Please to compare:

THEN

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NOW

Another thing Amy mentioned was the finalization process. Apparently, we are still far from over! There are reports to be written, lawyers to consult, judges to see, and months for Gus to reach (6). More on all that as it happens.

One final thing is, I've developed a bit of carpal tunnel in my wrists from carrying/feeding the baby. Any parents have advice on this?

Droolia Roberts

On the day of our first social worker visit it was raining. I should have known something was going to go awry. I had fed him prior to our scheduled meeting to make sure he would be happy but as soon as Amy arrived, Gus started screaming. He's usually quite calm and content but at that moment, he was crying and crying. Turns out I had to change his diaper because it was "Ethnic Food Night" down there if you know what I mean.
Even after he was changed and clean, he continued to cry inconsolably. We decided to just start the interview despite the wails. Amy was very nice but seemed a little distracted because it was so loud. To her credit, she didn't make me feel like a horrible parent. In fact, she offered a few suggestions to help calm Gus down. Eventually he stopped and the rest of the visit went smoothly. Of all the days!

For those curious, she asked about:

- his height and weight
- how he was eating
- where he sleeps and his schedule
- how we were doing (both individually and as a couple)
- doctor visits

All in all not too bad. David said it's probably good that Gus was crying when she was visiting because it showed her how I handle the baby when he's upset. I'm on the fence about that theory but hey, only 3 more visits to go!

Speaking of being a bad parent, here's a photo series I call, "Things On My Baby's Head"

Rattle

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Onesie
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Burp Cloth-----

Pacifier
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Wiimote
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Pocahontas Ballpoint Pen

Please don't call Child Protection Services.

Ya'll got Ya'll's Work Cut Out For Ya'll

Let the indoctrination begin!
OK, it's been a few weeks since an update but that's because we've been busy with Gus and his numerous needs. They are not kidding when they say being a stay-at-home mom is a full time job. He is now 8 weeks old and doing great! I have to say, despite sleepless nights and diaper changes, I thoroughly love being a dad. He gets cuter with each passing day and is beginning to give back a little with semi-smiles and not-so-blank stares. From total newborn infant dependency he's slowly but surely leaving the fog of nothingness and emerging into the bright light of consciousness... I hope he's not a bully.On the adoption front, we are going to have 4 visits from our social worker before the adoption can be finalized. I know it's necessary and for the good of the baby, but it still makes me a little nervous. The good news is, we've managed to keep Gus alive for 8 weeks so we're doing something right. Tomorrow is her first visit so I will talk more about that later. Wish us luck!

here are some more pics of Gus' antics:

This Christmas Is Not Bliss-Less

Hope everyone has a safe holiday season!

Relinquishment

Yesterday was a big day for us. I took Gus' birth parents to Adoption Connection to sign the relinquishment papers. I thought it would only take a few minutes but it ended up taking over an hour. Apparently there are a lot of papers to sign and they have to do it in triplicate. Before they signed I noticed our conversation was awkward with lots of silences. After they signed off however, everyone was more relaxed and started joking around. I guess the big elephant in the room was finally gone.Thus after two and a half weeks of caring for the little poop machine, he's officially in Limbo! Meaning his birth parents no longer have any rights to him and at the same time he isn't technically our son... Yet. We have to wait 6 months before the adoption is finalized. During that time there will be a couple visits from a social worker to see if we are in fact taking good care of him.

oh, his umbilical cord finally fell off! It's totally disgusting. I mean, it's a beautiful example of nature at its most miraculous.

Itty Bitty Kitty Committee

But seriously folks...

Just because we have a new baby in the house doesn't mean our adoption journey is over. Far from it in fact. Even though Gus is in our care, his birth parents haven't yet signed the relinquishment papers. It is Adoption Connection's policy to let them be of sound mind to sign off. That means they have to be out of the hospital for a couple days first. They will then meet with a counselor to see if their choice is in fact one they definitely want to make. It's a little bit nerve-wracking for us since they could change their minds but they have assured us this is the road they want to take. We have been using this time to get to know them a little bit. We've seen them twice since taking Gus home and they seem to really mostly be concerned for Gus' well being. I'm always nervous before we see them because I fear they will think we're doing a bad job but the truth is, I think they have an equal amount of fear. Maybe it's because they think we might change OUR minds, or that we might judge them for deciding on an adoption plan.So here we have this perfect little baby who will have no shortage of love from us and even though his birth parents decided on adoption, it was because they also loved him too much to be raised in their situation. Whatever I used to think about adoption, I now know that it is a profound event surrounded by love.

Ready... Set... GO!!!

In a nutshell, We are now the proud parents of a newborn baby boy! Introducing Gus Elliott Lee-JesitusIn honor of this big change in our lives, I have changed the look of the blog as well. I still can't believe it actually happened. A little over a year since we joined Adoption Connection and 10 months of waiting in outreach, we are finally DADS. Let me catch a breath! This is the first time in 5 days I've had a moment to sit down and collect my thoughts...

On Monday the 24th of November, 4:00 pm, it was just a normal day at work when Adoption Connection called to tell me there is a couple that had just given birth but couldn't keep him. They chose us out of 5 profiles! If we agreed to it, we would have to take the baby home the next day. We scheduled to meet at the UCSF Hospital at 6:00. Between 4 and 6, I had to scramble to finish my work, tell my bosses I need to take a leave of absence and call David to tell him the news.We met the couple at the hospital, met Gus, got to know everyone a little bit, set up an appointment to take the baby home the next day, and then left. We then went to Target to buy 2 cart loads of baby stuff. Without knowing what to buy, we just threw stuff into the carts willy nilly. Sleep that evening was interrupted and strange.The next day (Tuesday), we went back to the hospital at 11:00 in the morning to be there for his discharge. We were actually at the hospital until 4:30 because things just took a little extra time. It was an awkward moment when the birth parents left. It seemed like they wanted to keep it short but they were visibly sad yet resolute about their decision.

After they left, the nurses gave us a quick lesson on what to do. I could tell they thought we were totally unprepared. They offered to have a nurse come to our house to give us pointers but I haven't heard anything since we left the hospital so maybe that won't happen. After the crash course, we made an appointment to see a pediatrician and then signed 2 forms and left the hospital... Um, that's all we had to do? We could not believe they let us take a newborn infant out of the hospital after only meeting him the day before.Now we are getting settled into a routine and he is a very sweet mellow kid. This is one Thanksgiving we will always remember.